Since my last dilation (Oct 10th), I have been able to gain a few pounds (YAY!). Yesterday morning, I woke up and stepped on the scale. Flashing zeros….Flashing zeros…..108.0lbs. I stepped off. Rubbed my eyes. Tried again, flashing zeros…flashing zeros…108lbs. I then rotated the scale to make sure that it wasn’t the floor throwing it off and again 108lbs. It has happened. I’m now closer to 110 lbs than 100lbs. It’s possible it’s water weight. But you know what, I’ll take it!
Once I felt well enough to work, I have always felt a need to work more. I tried to do this as fast as I could during September-October which lead to weight loss and cutting back hours. Mentally, I felt like I could do it. Physically, I wasn’t ready and my body let me know. Now that I am gaining weight gain, I feel an even greater need to work more. However, I have also not returned to many of my physical activities that I enjoyed before surgery. So this lead me to a big debate around work/life balance and needed to consult a few of my co-workers and family for advice.
My one co-worker asked me, “Why do you feel you have a need to return to work fully so fast?”. Which really got me thinking. Why? I have always been career oriented. Brandon once asked me, “If someone asked you who you are and what you like to do, what would you say?” I replied, “I am a physiotherapist and I like…..physiotherapy?” We realized at this point that I need to develop more hobbies (but that’s a whole post in itself). Being a physiotherapist is part of my self actualization and I think this is why I felt so good returning to work back in September. This deals with the return to work question. But what about going back fully? After much thinking, I believe it all boils down to finances. Due to my reduced hours, I no longer am able to contribute as much as I was able to pre-surgery. Brandon does not care about this but for some reason I feel a cloud looming around me about this issue. I did not realize this before but contributing to our expenses was very important to me.
Now that I feel like I’m on the winning side of the weight gain curve, I have been given some choices, “Where to expend your calories…at work or at the gym?” I have spent the past week and a half debating about increasing hours at work or returning to the gym. Yesterday, I filled out all the fields online to re-activate my gym membership and hovered my mouse over the “accept” button for at least five minutes. Is this the correct choice? Am I ready to go back? There is no refund.
Click. Accept. Thank you an email confirmation will be sent to you.
After submitting my registration form, I immediately felt excited to return to the gym. I will start on Dec 1st. Have I made the correct choice? Yes, I think so. It’s all part of the work-life balance scale. It’s also easier to remove the gym vs. cut back hours at work. I am confident that returning to the gym will bring increased physical fitness, improved mental state, and energy levels. In addition, my body is in horrendous shape (I did three sets of ten squats last week and was sore for two days). This will provide me with a formal exercise program to rehabilitate myself fully as my home exercise attempts have been not so successful. I am confident that with this will come increased endurance, reduced risk for work injury, and an ability to consider additional hours at work.
So now the next step – find my gym clothing and make sure it still fits!